Saturday, 25 July 2009
Building a large incinerator next to Perth Prison could lead to an increase in inmates escaping, according to the jail's governor.
Kate Donegan said the planned waste-to-energy plant in Shore Road could come as close as 40 metres to the jail.
She said the lorry ramp would be even closer and would provide an excellent vantage point for planning a break-out.
Ms Donegan also expressed concern at other developments planned close to the jail, including a factory making wooden exercise horses, a college of tunnelling and a branch of "False Travel Documents 'R' Us."
Friday, 24 July 2009
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Monday, 20 July 2009
Friday, 17 July 2009
Engine problems have hit the ferry to be used on the first Sunday sailing from the mainland to Lewis in the Western Isles.
The MV Isle of Lewis runs the route from Ullapool to Stornoway.
It was reported to have limped into Stornoway harbour and engineers were working on resolving the problem.
Operator Caledonian MacBrayne was expected to make a decision on the vessel and any alternative arrangements for the route later.
The problem comes on one of the busiest days of the week for the service.
Also, music fans have been heading for the islands for the Hebridean Celtic Festival.
Just here would be the obvious place to insert a gag, giving a character the made up name of some God-bothering anti-Sunday-ferry activist on the island and have him declaim, in public, that the engine trouble is the work of God, but honestly, its too obvious even for me.
Mind you, some God botherer is probably muttering something along those lines sotto voce, but doesn't want to get caught out when the ferry engine gets fixed.
But, thunderbolts! Plagues of locust! The waitress in the ferry bar turning to a piller of salt!
Now, those are signs of God's wrath that the anti-ferry group could work with!
Inside: Breaking news...I was wrong.Apparently there are God-botherers that dumb:http://news.scotsman.com/scotland/Breakdown-of-Sabbath-ferry-is.5471947.jp
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
A 700-seater train has been chartered to take hundreds of passengers from a cruise ship at the centre of a vomiting bug outbreak.
The Marco Polo has been berthed in the Cromarty Firth since Monday.
Train Chartering said it had arranged for the transport to take passengers from Inverness on Thursday to York, Peterborough and London.
Health authorities are advising other passengers at the stations on the route to hold their breath and pray...
Monday, 6 July 2009
A total of 14 high value budgies have been stolen from a house in Brechin.
Tayside Police said some of the birds were worth a lot of money and they appealed for witnesses to the crime.
The theft occurred at an address in Montrose Street between 2100 BST on Friday 3 July and 0730 BST on Saturday 4 July.
Detectives believe that the thief has experience of keeping budgies and knew which of the birds was most valuable when stealing them.
A spokesyokel told The JT: "Just last week someone stole a box of bridies from outside the bakery. Where will it all end?"
Thursday, 2 July 2009
But what does the notional Scot in the figurative street think? We pretended to find out.
"Four pints a week? That can't be right. They probably mean four pints an hour."
"Beer's the problem is it? I'll stick to super lager then."
"Thank God I'm too pissed to take this all in."
"Naw, it’s forty pints a week, mate. It’s got to be forty."
And finally, we spoke to Finance Secretary John Swinney, desperately trying to keep the alcohol processing unit in Kilmarnock open...
"900 jobs at Diageo to go. Long-term consequences of alcohol use and its impact on public spending. Oh fuck, the contradictions are doing my head in. Have you got a drink on you?"