"Year of Homecoming": Plan B

Worried Scottish tourism chiefs are meeting this weekend to discuss the implementation of "Year of Homecoming Plan: B". The move comes after Plan A, "get thousands of Americans to visit" was somewhat scuppered by Kenny MacAskill letting the Libyan bomber go and the Americans taking the huff.


It is thought the new plan, unlike the old plan, will focus primarily on overseas visitor markets which meet one crucial criterion - not being the USA.


Key points in the new plan include:

• Emphasise the key role that Scottish immigrants/scientists/inventors etc. played in the creation and development of any country that is not the USA
• Make up some plausible number of Burns suppers held every year in any country that is not the USA
• Point to the many bottles of whisky that every year are drunk by people who aren't citizens of the USA
• Studiously ignore the formation of the Tripoli Tartan Army
• Pray that something turns up
• Work on your cv

Inside: US visitors replace tentative "Homecoming" idea with definite "Homestaying" decision.