Monday, 30 June 2014

Post-facto inference 101

From The Scotsman,

From The JT:

Following the queue experienced by visitors attending the event, "Bannockburn-Delayed", new evidence is emerging that the original battle might have been subject to similar problems. 

While historians have traditionally located the battle on or around 24th of June, manuscripts discovered down the back of a very old sofa at the back of the newsagents in Whins of Milton reveal that Bruce was much delayed arriving at the battle by queuing traffic coming off the M9. 

Professor Beaker, of Stirling's Department For Appearing On The Telly Looking Windswept And Interesting, told The JT:" Its now clear that such was the queue of armed men turning up to take part in the battle that the battle's start had to be delayed several times with Bruce being forced to apologise to the English-side forced to hang around, sighing heavily and continually checking their hour glasses."

Shock was recorded amongst members of a local battle reenactment society who thought they were taking part in a pretend battle.
 In actual combat, re-enacters found that hitting your opponent in arms with a wooden sword covered in kitchen foil had little effect and resulted in severe reciprocal malky...
According to the later chronicler, Blind Willie McTell, "Great were the cries of ooh yah that hurts ya bastard, followed by the screams of dying for real."

No comments: